Am going back to work

Hey dear,

Just a normal day at home. You are clad in your usual T-shirt & shorts. The feeding bottle is a constant reminder that you are still only a baby. You have graduated to much grown-up things like straw cup, which are seen in the back-ground.

You are sure growing up fast. Am gonna miss quite a few of these moments when at work. Am going back to work from this week. What have I gotten myself into?

Love u sweets.

For the past 3 weeks, I have sneaked out of home for a couple of hours so that you know to hold your own. Amma is gonna be away from morning till evening from this week on, and I don't know how you will manage. During the first week, when I had to be away, everything would remind me of you. I would open my handbag, and there wud be something of yours. I went shopping, and I found pins lying on the floor, and that got me thinking of you and your hair-pin story. I hated long rides, coz I had nothing to do, and all I did was think about you. I even had my moments when tears would well up just thinking that you weren't there with me.

The second week outings were much better than the first. I got over the missing-my-baby thing a bit. I looked around and I found Singapore quite beautiful. Different people, places, things.... I never noticed these before, coz I had time for none other than you. But all the same, whenever there is a baby around, it got me thinking of you, and I longed to get back home and see you run towards me with your bright smile and lovely eyes with your arms open wide.

The third week outings... I didn't do much. I felt like I wanted to be with you more, play with you more. Now time is up, and amma has to get back to work. I sometimes, feel quite selfish to leave you and go to work. Later in my life, I wouldn't be happy if I had not done what I am going to. I would regret having stayed at home. I would regret for not even having made an effort to get back to work.

Am just afraid that, if I don't, I would just not have dreams of my own. All that I would dream about, is you and would probably want YOU to do what I dreamed to. Quite complicated. Fear not, if this doesn't work out for you, I would quit right away and be with ya, the rest of my life.

Love you loads and loads. You will always be my first love forever. Anything for ya.

Just a few extra kilos

I don't know where it all started. But there are quite a few false beliefs about pregnancy. Ok fellas, U might wanna stop here if you are feeling queasy. Seriously, am just gonna talk about weight-gain and nothing else, I solemnly swear so!

I was always of the thought that u get fat after ur first baby. Well, there weren't many in my friends gang, who had babies before me. Just a couple of them. Sumu... and she started to look like Sumo! Mathu... don't think she gained much. G3.... hmm, she did. Ann... yes, a bit. but I must assure you tgat they are all on the right track and losing it all day by day.

Me, I weighed a good 56 Kgs before my preganacy and weighed 68 Kgs just before delivery and weighed 64 the next day. Considering that Nephy weighed only 2.75, the rest must be all the water that the baby was floating in.

U wud be shocked to know how much I weigh now... about 51-52. Am sure, I would fit into a trousers that I wore when in my college days. Running around your baby, sure helps. Especially, your inner conscience starts talking bloody too much after the baby's arrival.

Everytime, am late on sterilising her things, my conscience talks crazy, keeps telling me that am knowingly, in full conscience, letting germs & wat-not into my baby's mouth. When am late about mopping with good-old-dettol, the big-mouth conscience starts screaming that Nephy is playing on something unclean. When am late on getting her breakfast done, it goes on and on about how she must be starving. When am late on changing her just-a-lil-wet clothes, there it goes again about how Nephy might catch a cold. When I take my eyes off her for just minute, it keeps reminding me of what horrible things she might find and put into her mouth.. so complaining...ddddduuuuuuuhhhhhh!

So, am on my feet all the time, doing the best I can. And the truth is, it has actually helped me lose all my extra kilos. Therz still a bit to go though. But unfortunately, I have been blessed.

Guess what, I have been gifted with people. Now, therz Nephy's grand parents and they keep running behind her. Therz a housekeeper, who deals with the rest. Life is just amazing when you don't have to budge so much, other than just to play with ur baby. About the extra kilos, I think am gonna put on more, and am just plain happy about it!

The happy and The Grrr

Babies are of two kinds, am gonna call it the happy and the Grrrr

Happy ones are those ones that break into a giggle easily. Easy to get them to break into smiles, just a wave of your hand, a funny face or just about anything. Natalie, my brother's kid, happens to be of this kind. She wud break into smiles at anyone, and wud want to be lifted by everybody. Such sweets!

Grrr ones are those babies which give u the "have u completely lost it?" look, when u try to get them to laugh. Serious ones. Nephy happens to be a Grrr baby. Lotsa ppl try to get her attention and to smile, but all that the lil miss would do is point her little finger and say,'Toe'! (Wonder what she says)

Recently, on our way back home, in the lift, there was this old lady, looking tired and ready to hit the bed, returning home after a hard day's work, I believe. With absolutely no prompting, Nephy cooed out to her then smiled (try saying 'E', tats how she smiles), then did her almost-perfect winky-wink and finished it off with a flying kiss. The lady laughed out loud and I think Nephy just made her day!